Saturday, November 22, 2008

A weekend in the country or: A reminder that reality can sometimes be sweet...

In the end of october I, my best friend, her boyfriend, brother and his girlfriend spent a wonderful weekend at the most incredible hostel. It was in a former distillery, built in 1800. It was on the grounds of the country estate Nynäs, about an hour drive from Stockholm.the distillery

It's an amazing building with thick walls and old wooden floors, recently refurbished into this lovely hostel, with reproductions of 19th century wallpaper and furnished with beautiful rustic 18th and 19th century furniture.The house had the most beautiful and well equipped kitchen; and an equally beautiful diningroom where we had our fabulous dinner of toast Skagen, Cœur de filet provençal and a french apple tart with homemade vanilla custard and great wines!


We had an amazing time there. Immediately upon our arrival, just as we had settled in our rooms, we took a walk around the estate. We got up on a cliff with a spectacular view over the lake and the dense woods around it and the echo was incredible!
We discovered the hostel when we visited Nynäs house in september, We had a tour of the absolutely beautiful house - built in the 1640's; it's been rebuilt over the years - lastly in the 1860's and it was a private home until 1984 - and since there was just the four of us, except for the amazing guide, we got to go behind the ropes and have a closer look at the most amazing bed curtains from the early 1600's, in yellow silk and black velvet in an intricate pattern with gold thread embroidery, a fantastic 400-years old silk and velvet marquetry!Nynäs house, the countess' antechamberAn engraving of the house (right) and the distillery (left) from about 1815.

How i've been waiting!


It's finally snowing! I hope for more of that this winter.
Last year it snowed for like two days or so, and this is Sweden!
Last year my dog got a tick in December - that's how warm it was, and the fiew times that it was cheek-pinchingly cold outside i hoped for more but was always let down. Now we've had quite a cold autumn here and i feel slightly more at ease. And now this!

Friday, November 21, 2008

A weekend, or a fortnight, in the country.

I am about to undertake a rather huge project i have been thinking about for a long time.
A beautiful diningroom in a beautiful Château or Hôtel particulier; with an oblong table and some of my, mainly 17th and 18th century, favorite personages around it.

It is completely superficial and unimaginative, just for my own pleasure and hopefully your's... people like Marie-Antoinette, the Duchess of Devonshire and her sister... (NO Bess! In my story she dies early on from smallpox and G gets over it all in no time!) Duchesse de Polignac, Madame de Pompadour, de Sévigné, Voltaire, Emilie du Châtelet, Sophie Arnould, Gustaf III of Sweden, Sarah Siddons and Diana Vreeland are the ones who have been invited so far. I suppose i should have some composers/musicians as well...even though most of the guests excelled in at least one instrument, perhaps they could take turns...Marie-Antoinette at the harp, Arnould singing a fiew airs, Camargo delighting us with a fiew turns about the room and so on...the Queen of France would of course help in carving and handing out the various dishes around the table - as she did at Trianon that summer of 1784 when Gustaf III visited...My late mother will naturally have to be there, and mainly dead people - they always tend to be more interesting, just like past is more interesting than present...and not to mention the future, wich i dread to even think about.
Maybe even a series of pictures; A weekend or a fortnight spent in the country with all these distinguished guests...


It will be all about details - the rooms filled with beautiful furniture and artefacts, porcelaine, silver, silly little figurines taken from all my books on 18th century art and fashion as well as from my huge library of images on my laptop, taken from the collections of various museums.
I have made a first draft - a sketch of the diningroom in question, and i really look forward to begin!

I haven't really drawn for years, i've been far to stressed and worried...i'm not cut out for this life. I just scribble and never make any finished drawings, even though i really have all the time in the world - i'm off sick; have been for years and lord knows for how much longer, i just can't seem to get back on my feet.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Amusing myself


Accent - Stockholm accent.
Booze - I'm not big on drink, but boringly, i like good wines with good food and maybe even the company of good friends. Oh, and champagne!
Chore I hate - anything practical.
Dogs/Cats - Dogs, though i wouldn't mind a cat if i had a house and a garden.
Essential electronics - I-pod; Laptop computer; digital camera; CD player; DVD player
Favourite perfume - Many...Fracas, Bandit, Shalimar, Mitsouko, La chasse aux papillons, No. 19, Endymion, Blenheim bouquet...
Gold/silver - neither keeps me awake at night but maybe gold actually.
Hometown - Stockholm.
Insomnia - Rarely, although I stay up very late!
Job title - None.
Kids - No.
Living arrangements - Snug and cluttered.
Most admired trait - Courage
Number of sexual partners - Let's go with zero as i am terribly repulsive and can't be loved in any other way than the way one feels about an old grandma or a dog perhaps. Don't care for sex anyway...it's no insurance against loneliness.
Overnight hospital stays - A long time ago.
Phobia - the usual and a thousand...that's why i can't do anything with my life.
Quote - "Music for a while shall all your cres beguile..." -John Dryden
Religion - Agnostic/atheist
Siblings - six, but they're all strangers to me.
Time I usually awake - 10 am but i'm aiming at 6 or 7.
Unusual talent - I couldn't say.
Vegetable I refuse to eat - slightly aversed to aubergine otherwise none.
Worst habit - Procrastination
X-rays - When i broke my rib at 7?
Yummy foods I make - Fish soup, mashed potatoes, crème brûlée, apple tart.
Zodiac sign - Gemini.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Another dream


I've been dreaming again, or, they say you dream every night even if you may or may not remember it. This time it was a very vivid dream, so i remember certain fragments that i now shall put down here.
It seems to have been set mainly in the surroundings of my childhood home in stockholm. My childhood home was amalgamated with a medieval castle ruin, it had a moat around it, a drawbridge and narrow, steep, winding stairs inside. I had accidently dropped my dvds in the moat and jumped into the cold water to fish them all up again, there were some boys clinging to a willow tree bending over the surface, i got under it to pick all the dvds up and was suddenly assisted by the boyfriend of one of my best friends, and she herself was just sitting up on land watching.

In the next segment i was out in the yard with my dog Moa and my aunt's dog Hector, two feisty little Jack Russels. I got up to the door of one of the storage sheds, it was a huge, monumental door but it didn't look like it had been opened and entered for years, i crushed the rusty old padlock and flung open the heavy, creaking doors. There was broken glass on the floor so i told the dogs to wait outside, my own dog didn't last very long and had to come running after me, but Hector sat outside waiting like a good boy. I walked into the obscurity of the room wich my eyes soon got used to, and the shed appeared to be a stable, with the most magnificent, well-kept, healthy horses neatly lined up along both sides of the aisle. There was now a soft, almost cathedral like light in the room. I got out again and shut the doors and got inside my parent's house, inside i found my cousin on the floor next to a bed she had just had delivered to her, she was supposed to come stay with us for a while, she could have been about ten in this dream but is now an unwholesome teenager of seventeen. Both she and her older sister would stay with us alot when they were younger, and their mother, my -mother's younger sister, had been drinking again.
And now i just woke up and had to write it all down.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

What am i doing?


Oh hell! I'm sleeping my days away and i can't seem to get myself out of bed, haven't touched a pencil for months and i can't bring myself to do anything about that or anything else, it's like i'm in the cellar of a house with a fire in the attic rapidly eating its way down, and i'm doing nothing to get out even though i easily could...or could i? If only when lying in bed i looked like her, up there, then things might solve themselves. But an oaf like me must make it happen, damn it! Why wasn't i just born a cat?!

Detail of a painting by J-B. Greuze. the Frick collection, New York

Monday, March 31, 2008

Snogging and wading


Tonight, or rather this morning i dreamt i was snogging an imam (me!), but his beard was a fake one for he wasn't wearing it when the actual snogging occurred - before i even knew he was an imam. -i found out later when i met him outside of the picturesque, winding, swedish little country-cottage where the snogging took place. I always dream of nice houses and cottages, and then it always takes an unpleasant turn, this time (apart from snogging an imam...wich is usually a man far from what i desire) i found myself wading in a putrid little lake, or swamp. It had dead trees around it lowering their pale branches over the surface. The branches were hung with fish skeletons and along the sides of the lake lay dead fish and more skeletons, and over the entire site lay the most unbearable stench, and i felt sharp, slippery rocks under my bare feet, and the water was thick and greasy.

Friday, February 22, 2008

A dream of Lyon.


The other night i had another dream, a very fragmentary dream. This time i was in Lyon, so i was told in the dream. Lyon is a city i have no connection to whatsoever, i've never even been there. I remember walking around in endless, vast, palatial marble halls, like those at the Grand Central Station in New York.
I got inside a house in the dense city and out on it's backside, then there was no trace of the city, there was an endless, verdant garden. The garden-facade of the house was completely covered in honeysuckle and boughs of wisteria, i walked in the tall grass and buttercups. In the grass lay scattred sun-bleached plastic toysm a ball, a doll and a watering can. I waded on through the grass and down a gentle slope, i looked out over the magnificent landscape. Fields of golden ochre interspersed by dense, fantastically lush woods and finaly in the horizon, the glittering, blue sea. But no trace of the city.
In the next fragment i was balancing on some railway tracks above blackened gravel between steep sides covered in lifeless grass, thistles and weeds. Then i was suddenly chased away and ran for my life.

Then i was going to a gala opening at the opera and i was going to escort this old countess, and elegant old lady with a shiny satin eveningdress and strands of pearls, her thick, grey hair in a tight chignon. I was also similarily dressed upp, we walked arm in arm through the grand marble-foyer of the operahouse, upp and down broad, monumental stairs. The countess' box was on the right side of the auditorium, had a gilt Louis Seize- sofa clad in a striped silk-damask in purple-stripes on ivory white, all other seats in the auditorium were in deep burgundy-velvet. The auditorium was packed, we sat down and the display commenced. My best friend sat on the balcony opposite, surrounded by her other friends, and waved eagerly.
It was a strange vaudeville with a 70s disco-accompanyment. Giant dancers in sequinned leotards on swings and trapezes, and with big, hysterical smiles in a bizarre mechanical dance, they changed size all the time, like soapbubbles or as if they were inflatable. The salon was also moving, balconies switched places, twitched and turned like a rubik's cube.

The next thing i remember we were bouncing gleefully down the steep, broad front stairs of the opera. Then it was snowing, as in the old day's winters, millions of little snowflakes fell over the big town-square outside. Then i woke up.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Beautiful etchings

I just have to share with you, these wonderfully charming seasonal fashionplates, etched by Wenceslaus Hollar in England in the 1640's:
1:
2:
3:
4:

Sunday, February 10, 2008

A new, strange dream


Yesterday night i had a new "house-dream". I often seem to dream of houses, they often start pleasantly, but then take another, more unsettling turn. This house was a weird mix between a castle, country cottage and those beautiful 18th century houses near Drottningholm. There were old, beautifully worn wooden floors, beautiful stained glass and sash windows, old artifacts and furniture, and a soft, beautiful light falling through the irregular glass of the windows. It resembled the summerhouse of Helena Ekdahl in Bergman's "Fanny and Alexander". There also was a conservatory and and many poky, little staircases with chiseled wooden banisters worn by centurie's of hands.
It was such a vivid dream! There's so much i remember, plainly, as if i just seen it on film or even been there. It started at night and pale moonlight seeped through the windows and in sconces on the walls some candles threw their flickering, sparse light in the rooms, nooks and crannies. I was at the upper storey and chased by something or someone i couldn't see, i ran down the stairs and through a door with many intricate locks and barres, i hastily slammed the door shut behind me and locked it carefully. Then i found myself in a quaint little country kitchen, with woodpanelling painted in limegreen and coral, ancient copperpots and utensils. Then, suddenly it was day and the sun pierced through the foliage outside and further through the windows, spreading a golden-green flickering pattern allover the room. I was no longer chased and the door i had just locked so carefully was wide open.
The kitchen led further on to a little bedroom with old torn wallpapers with a rustic, yet elegant printed pattern in dark blue beams on bone white, there were a fiew rustic pieces of furniture, a bed with a beautiful quilt, a dresser, a fiew simple chairs, the same golden green flicker from outside. I went up to the upper storey again and found a large room with walls covered in exquisitely and intricately carved woodpanels, seemingly they had been taken from a much larger, much grander house, they were painted in a dark blue, with gilt carvings and thousands of little flowers painted all over, the panels were divided by columns with corinthian capitals, cut, in incoherent bits to fit in here.
I went downstairs again and out. It must have been about the end of august for the verdure seemed faded and the leaves had a chapped, leathery feel to them and there was a cool breeze. I lay stretched on a table with flaky white paint and surrounded by tall birchtrees. I looked at the house, it must have been mine. It was a strange anomaly, a cluster of little cottages with high, steep roofs and many chimneys, an ancient, crooked, farmhouse in an idyllic, rural setting.
I walked around the house.

Then i suddenly found myself on a huge parkinglot with different monstrous industrial buildings around it, it was dirty and garbage scattered allover the place. I never found my way back to the house and started walking and walking as darkness fell. Then i was in a town, a big ruthless city and below it's townhall mixed with the Chiesa di San Marco in Venice, i was barefoot and wore a nightshirt stained with urin, feeling naked and unprotected.

Then i remember climbing on the outside of a giant dome of terracotta bumps sprinkled with crushed glass, trying to get down, wich was difficult. When down i remember getting down the entrance of the subway. And then i woke up-

In another dream i had just traded my cosy apartment for a dreary, depressing one-storey suburban house in the middle of a barren field of asphalt with some lifeless shrubs adorned with plasticbags, junk and some beige sparrows chirping depressingly. The house was appaling and smelled like a hospital or day care center, an uninspiring, clinical smell trying to cover that of urin and vomit. In the drawing room stood a horrible, settee covered in parched, worn-out leather with revolting, unidentifiable stains. Criminally ugly curtains and a view through the windows of a dull playground with lifeless lawns and a set of swings. Ew! And in the bathroom i found some horrible copies of bijoux and perfumes with boxes, saying "Doir" instead of "Dior", i recall. Fie!

But what can these dreams mean?!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Träumerei

Last night i had strange dream. I had found a wonderful house towering up in a park of dense, leafy groves and tall grass, surrounded by flowerbeds and ancient oaks. I got inside the house and looked around. A succession of beautiful rooms; small, yet spacious and bathing in daylight. Suddenly it started to shrink, so that i first had to walk bent, then on all fours and then crawl...and then i woke up, wich was a pity as it was a thoroughly wonderful house and quite a wonderful dream. It was a heavenly early summer's day and i was picking flowers with my friend on a meadow nearby, we were happy that one could do that. Then i remember standing at the end of a long gallery on the topfloor of the house, i walked forward, looking out through the windows, over the tree tops, then i hit my head on one of the beams in the ceiling, and first i had to walk bent, then on all fours and finally i had to crawl, then i remember wriggling my way down a narrow, shrinking staircase where i finally got stuck. Strangely i don't remember any feelings of anxiety. -i wonder what a dream interpreter would say about this.

Friday, November 30, 2007

June

"By the rushy-fringed bank, where grows the willow and the osier dank My sliding chariot stays.
Thickset with agat, and the Azurn sheen of Turkish blue and Em'rald green, That in the channel strays.
Whilst from off the Waters fleet Thus i set my printless feet. O'er the Cowslips velvet Head, That bends not, bends not, as i tread." ("Comus" Dalton, efter Milton.)
Even though i love all seasons and months of the year, i am now longing a bit for June, i know June will return, -if the whole atmosphere doesn't melt down before then of course. We can only hope it doesn't. The rhubarbs! -oh, how i love rhubarb! But i've heard that if you eat it too often it can damage your kidneys, it's fortunate that one doesn't.
-My beloved, departed mother, i remember, told me of an early morning...probably in June, when she was young, knackered after a night at the Operabaren fetched some rhubarb-stems in the garden and chopped them to bits to make a crumble or perhaps, a lovely rhubarb-soup. -suddenly she jumped and discovered that she very nearly had severed her own finger! The blade of the knife had gone well into the bone! End of that dazzling story. Oh, how i miss her! I can still remember her lifeless hand in mine, in that dreary hospital room. I don't think i have gotten over her dying, or even dealt with it. It just can't be this easy to go on without such a person...it's probably coming to me any day now...or in forty years, a life long loss. Here she is, just a fiew months before she died, when i couldn't even imagine the succession of ruthless horrors that would soon accost us.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Les Soeurs Scotto.


"Secrets de cuisine des Soeurs Scotto"(Chêne)
One of the prettiest cookery books i've ever seen! With amazing recipes and wonderful photographs. Three italian-french sisters born in Algeria here shares their old family-recipes and new ones and some gorgeous photographs from their personal album.
It is of course in french but at least my french is sufficient for following the recipes. Now i'm only waiting for delivery from La France!